Purina Diet (some food storage levity)

**mirkwood** · 09-23-2008

I am having a boring life

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large
bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet Sheriff the Wonder Dog and was
in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have
little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was
starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't
because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally compl ete so
it works well and I was going to try it again (I have to mention here
that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story).

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in the intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a Golden
Retriever's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard.

Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.